Adios, amigo

Life may be sweet at times but it can also be painful. Two weeks ago the guy who badgered me into starting this blog died after suffering from oesophageal cancer for over five years.
As is usual in cases like this there's a certain relief that Peter's suffering has ceased but the hole left by his passing is immense.

I knew him for less than five years: He was a work colleague of my wife for a few years and they became close friends. Once Peter had retired we visited him and his partner, Leanne at their place and they reciprocated. While he was well and mobile we'd also occasionally have a breakfast at a local food outlet. I always enjoyed being in their company; the conversations were never anything less than entertaining. When they visited us at home a standing joke developed about our two "imaginary children" as each time Peter and Leanne visited, our two kids always happened to be away. I don't think they ever met.

Although I only knew Peter for a short time I can look back on the times we spent together and still smile at his sometimes acid wit. He did not suffer fools so I can be pleased that he took to me.

I only learned that he was Jewish while he was in the local hospice so it was with some trepidation [fear of not knowing what to do or stuffing up, probably] that I went with my wife and a couple of his closest work friends to his funeral service in Sydney last week. I need not have worried - the service was a very moving and peaceful affair and the young rabbi did a great job in explaining to the attendees [Jews and gentiles] about the Jewish funeral rites.

Leanne, Peter's wife, wrote a wonderful eulogy, beautifully read by the rabbi. I learned more about Pete: he had led a very interesting life; the only child of Hungarian Jews who escaped from Hungary after World War II; widely travelled; extremely bright; well educated; an experienced social worker by training and profession although in later years like lots of others had gravitated from the dark to the world of IT.

On a sunny but windy day, Peter was laid to rest in the Jewish section of Macquarie park cemetery North Ryde.

I regret not knowing Pete for longer but I treasure the time I did.


In his honour and memory, I hope this is appropriate:

Mourner’s Kaddish for Everyday

By Debra Cash

Build me up of memory
loving and angry, tender and honest.
Let my loss build me a heart of wisdom,
compassion for the world’s many losses

Each hour is mortal
and each hour is eternal
and each hour is our testament.
May I create worthy memories
all the days of my life.